why do i feel lost?

where were you when i needed you the most.
when i'm so lost and tired, i cant even count on you to be there.
not even a single word, nothing but coldness.

so, who can i turn to?

up down left right.
the weekend has been a rollercoaster. especially sat.
can this change last for long?

i have been told i need to be more tactful.

tact·ful (tākt'fəl)
adj. Possessing or exhibiting tact; considerate and discreet: a tactful person; a tactful remark.
tact'ful·ly adv., tact'ful·ness n.

tact (tākt)
–noun

1.	a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations.

2.	a keen sense of what is appropriate, tasteful, or aesthetically pleasing; taste; discrimination.

3.	touch or the sense of touch.

considering the above definitions, i think i have been pretty tactful with everyone else.
I do not go around shooting my mouth off and offending 134585984 others. that's what i normally do. i think before i speak. at least i try to.

then again how do you be tactful when what you want to say to make your point is in itself already offensive, and have a high tendency to annoy and anger the other party?
i.e. the content itself is already offensive and there's no other softer way to bring it across, if not the meaning would have been lost in all the rephrasing and what nots.
so, how do you go about doing it?

and the thing about waiting for a better timing?
what if that's already the best and most appropriate? by waiting it could have made matter worse? or there wouldn't be another opportunity to say it anymore?

so, how do you actually be more tactful under these circumstances?

everything's going on as usual,
school, projects, home, sleep. and so the cycle continues.
there's something missing in the equation.

at times, i think i just shut off.
distance myself from everything that matters.

gosh, sounding so emonemoelmo.
looking forward to seeing lao huang tmm tho (: